January 2011
So I am writing again to get something off my mind.
It is January, the month of diet commercials, diet pills, diet "tricks" and diet newspaper flyers. Does anyone else think this whole thing is ridiculous ? The entire month of December, advertising- including television commercials, newspaper print, flyers, store displays and online ads, are filled with the notion that we should have whatever we want or crave. Because-get this- we "deserve" it !
The flyers are filled with scrumptious and decadent desserts that we absolutely
NEED to serve at our parties and have at our family gatherings. Cheese topped with more cheese, and chocolate topped with more chocolate.
This week, I have seen flyers telling me that "New Years is coming- are you ready ???" , alongside photos of pop,chips,ice cream, and cake. I also got a coupon booklet in the mail yesterday with a huge picture of a burger on one side and a huge container of fries on the other. The picture filled the entire page, along with one word: CRAVE.
That is pure evil.
Now tell me this: in all this advertising, in the millions and millions of dollars spent on this, have you once seen an ad for weight loss or fitness ? No ?? ....Me either.
Now, here it is, the 2nd day of January, and the market is saturated with diets, diet pills, fitness clothing, Gym memberships, workout equipment, and more.Television commercials are almost exclusively weight loss ads. Between the commercials for Jenny Craig, LA Weight Loss, Weight Watchers, TrimSpa, Nutrisystem,
Dr. Bernstein, and Herbal Magic, you would think that society would be stick thin by now....... Right ?
Wrong. The truth is, if these things were magic, and delivered on their promises, we would be a very different society. The diet industry is a billion-dollar industry. Why ? Because people will pay anything for a quick and
easy solution to their weight issues.
And the truth is, THERE IS NO QUICK AND EASY. There just isn't.
Real weight loss has nothing to do with a "diet". Nothing. It is not a diet, it is a change- a complete overhaul, if you will- in lifestyle and mindset. If you want to lose weight, and keep it off, you have to work your a*s off.
Quite literally.
There is no pill, no formula, no magic cure for being fat. It is hard, hard work. It is a lifelong commitment to bettering yourself. It is a major shift in what and how much you eat. It is an eye-opening, knowledge-is-power kind of learning experience. Combine that with regular cardio exercise, and you may just be on to something.
If you are sick of the money you are spending on diets, exercise equipment, and magic pills that don't deliver the magic, then put your wallet away, get your butt off the couch,and go for a run. A bike ride. A powerwalk. Whatever you can do to be active.
Ignore the commercials for things that seem like a quick fix. I didn't gain this extra weight overnight, and I wont take it off that way, either. It's not easy.
It's a long hard road, but the benefits are amazing.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Seats at the Mall and Other Embarrassments
This is an email I wrote to a friend. Very real...very not funny.
But this is how I felt, Re: Seats at the Mall
October 2010.
So it made me sad to read your note, but not for the reasons you think. I actually so get it.
I often feel like seats have gotten smaller, (really?) and it ticks me off, because I know that's not true. The ones at the Pen Centre, in the food court are the worst. I seriously can't fit in them. The stupid twisty ones with the bars on the sides. Argh ! I am so embarrassed that I dont ever say anything to the person I'm with. Like Garry or my mom-in-law. And so I tolerate sitting in it, while it cuts off my thigh and circulation for like 40 minutes.
It sucks. Large.
And while I'm at it, I will say that I have realized that no pillow or blanket is ever going to hide the fact that I'm fat. That I can't hide behind other people in a picture and have everyone be "tricked" (oooh, I'm so smart!) into thinking im not fat. Seriously, people KNOW already.
So then why the heck do I give a s*** about being "too embarrassed" to have people see
my exercising ???? WHYYYY ??
I know. It doesn't make sense. We've fooled ourselves into thinking that when we don't look at it, it doesn't exist. If there are no photos to prove it, we aren't fat.
I know, this seems really stupid when I say it out loud.
But I do believe that God had graced us with a coping mechanism (however ridiculous it seems) in order to deal with the cold hard facts that otherwise would hurt us so deeply.
We can pretend all we want to that it doesn't bother us. That it doesn't consume every part of our day. That we wouldn't change it in a second if we could snap our fingers.
Fat is such an emotional thing. And to deny it is the only way you can survive it.
But this is how I felt, Re: Seats at the Mall
October 2010.
So it made me sad to read your note, but not for the reasons you think. I actually so get it.
I often feel like seats have gotten smaller, (really?) and it ticks me off, because I know that's not true. The ones at the Pen Centre, in the food court are the worst. I seriously can't fit in them. The stupid twisty ones with the bars on the sides. Argh ! I am so embarrassed that I dont ever say anything to the person I'm with. Like Garry or my mom-in-law. And so I tolerate sitting in it, while it cuts off my thigh and circulation for like 40 minutes.
It sucks. Large.
And while I'm at it, I will say that I have realized that no pillow or blanket is ever going to hide the fact that I'm fat. That I can't hide behind other people in a picture and have everyone be "tricked" (oooh, I'm so smart!) into thinking im not fat. Seriously, people KNOW already.
So then why the heck do I give a s*** about being "too embarrassed" to have people see
my exercising ???? WHYYYY ??
I know. It doesn't make sense. We've fooled ourselves into thinking that when we don't look at it, it doesn't exist. If there are no photos to prove it, we aren't fat.
I know, this seems really stupid when I say it out loud.
But I do believe that God had graced us with a coping mechanism (however ridiculous it seems) in order to deal with the cold hard facts that otherwise would hurt us so deeply.
We can pretend all we want to that it doesn't bother us. That it doesn't consume every part of our day. That we wouldn't change it in a second if we could snap our fingers.
Fat is such an emotional thing. And to deny it is the only way you can survive it.
The First Day of the Rest of My Life
I wrote this one year ago. The date was September 26th, 2010.
This is how I felt. This was my life. I've decided it's time to share it :
SEPTEMBER 26th, 2010. The First Day of The Rest of my Life.
So I have a secret. I've been keeping it for years. It's not a bad secret, not a "post-secrets" kind of secret. It's a dream. It's like something that i haven't had the nerve to share with anyone.
I have always wanted to run.
There it is. I said it. I have wanted to be a runner for a long time now. I always have kind of felt like this will happen someday,and that I understood it.That it would someday be a part of my life.
I have always looked with envy on people running down the street with such conviction, such determination, such drive, and wanted to be there, to be that fit, to be that strong.
And yet, I always thought it to be "someday". Not today, not tomorrow, not next week Thursday. Someday. And I realize that's pretty random. And I realize that "someday" is not an actual date.
Which is why last night it came to me, in the version of a Youtube video. I watched Bendoeslife. And I was stunned, I was inspired, I was ready.I made a choice to finally do it. To just freakin do it already. I have decided many many times before. It's time to do something about it. The time is now.
However, those thoughts never come to fruition.
I have just realized that thoughts have to turn into actions, even if they :
~make you uncomfortable
~don't come at the right time of year
~don't come at the right time of your life
~make you look stupid
~make you sweat and be gross
It will never ever be the "right time". Ever. So the time is now. I am going to go for my very first ever run tonight. I am going after supper tonight, and I will admit I am scared as heck. I am scared I will be embarrassed, that people will see me and think I'm a fat girl running. That people will think thoughts about me, that I can't control.
The ironic thing is, that's already happening. People already think I'm fat. They do. They see me every day, and I can't control what they are thinking. There's nothing I can do about that. The only thing I can do is to change myself, and what I think about me. I know who I am inside, I know what I have looked like in the past, and I know what I am capable of. I know who I am in my dreams, and I am not the fat girl. I am
thin and beautiful.
I want to match who I am on the inside, to the outside.
I will start tonight. I will look stupid. And I will probably hate it. I will hate it so much, but I will try again, and try again, until I hate it just a little, and until I dont hate it much at all , and until I just barely start to like it. And then I will do it until I like it a little bit more.
This is why i am writing this down. I don't want to give up. I have done that before.
This time I want to win.
This is how I felt. This was my life. I've decided it's time to share it :
SEPTEMBER 26th, 2010. The First Day of The Rest of my Life.
So I have a secret. I've been keeping it for years. It's not a bad secret, not a "post-secrets" kind of secret. It's a dream. It's like something that i haven't had the nerve to share with anyone.
I have always wanted to run.
There it is. I said it. I have wanted to be a runner for a long time now. I always have kind of felt like this will happen someday,and that I understood it.That it would someday be a part of my life.
I have always looked with envy on people running down the street with such conviction, such determination, such drive, and wanted to be there, to be that fit, to be that strong.
And yet, I always thought it to be "someday". Not today, not tomorrow, not next week Thursday. Someday. And I realize that's pretty random. And I realize that "someday" is not an actual date.
Which is why last night it came to me, in the version of a Youtube video. I watched Bendoeslife. And I was stunned, I was inspired, I was ready.I made a choice to finally do it. To just freakin do it already. I have decided many many times before. It's time to do something about it. The time is now.
However, those thoughts never come to fruition.
I have just realized that thoughts have to turn into actions, even if they :
~make you uncomfortable
~don't come at the right time of year
~don't come at the right time of your life
~make you look stupid
~make you sweat and be gross
It will never ever be the "right time". Ever. So the time is now. I am going to go for my very first ever run tonight. I am going after supper tonight, and I will admit I am scared as heck. I am scared I will be embarrassed, that people will see me and think I'm a fat girl running. That people will think thoughts about me, that I can't control.
The ironic thing is, that's already happening. People already think I'm fat. They do. They see me every day, and I can't control what they are thinking. There's nothing I can do about that. The only thing I can do is to change myself, and what I think about me. I know who I am inside, I know what I have looked like in the past, and I know what I am capable of. I know who I am in my dreams, and I am not the fat girl. I am
thin and beautiful.
I want to match who I am on the inside, to the outside.
I will start tonight. I will look stupid. And I will probably hate it. I will hate it so much, but I will try again, and try again, until I hate it just a little, and until I dont hate it much at all , and until I just barely start to like it. And then I will do it until I like it a little bit more.
This is why i am writing this down. I don't want to give up. I have done that before.
This time I want to win.
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